So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
