I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
