Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
