1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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