Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
