Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
