My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
