Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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