So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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