she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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