just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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