so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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