walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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