I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
