just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
