I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
