I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
