his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
