one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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