Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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