Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
