I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
