Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
