I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
