Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
