Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
