I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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