THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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