No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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