youre lurking in front of me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The Olympian is in my bed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
