the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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