Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
