please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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