Im at strip club and am horny
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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