They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
