I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
