so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
