Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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