the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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