god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
