hotel room ftw
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
