She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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