I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
