And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize