Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
