Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
