are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
