id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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