Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
