dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize