Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
