the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think your dad took our porno
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
