honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
