After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
