Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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