okay pat passed out under dana's car
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
