I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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