So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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