Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
