I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
