HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
