She announced her abortion via fbk
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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