If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
