So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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