Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
