We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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