used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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