trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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