I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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