I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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