Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Actions speak louder than pants.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
