I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
