I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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