I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
