I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
