How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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