3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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